Iolani left us waiting a little longer than I was expecting, but finally I can see him walking towards the house. Because I'm still bouncing with excitement I run out to meet him. And I start talking before I even reach him -- before I even get a good look at him.
"Lan! It's about time! You had me worried for a minute. What made you late? Oh never mind. You can tell me about that later. I have wonderful news! You'll never guess. Well, okay, you probably can guess part of it -"
It's at about that moment that I reach him. I've been keeping one eye on the surroundings -- like always -- as I ran, and I still hadn't really looked at him. But now I'm within an arms length of him, and I finally look up at his face.
Then I completely forget what I was about to say. Most of my excitement vanishes, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. I can't help myself, I reach out to touch his cheek.
Neither of us says anything for a long moment. Then I take a deep, calming breath.
"C'mon baby. Let go inside. I guess we've got a lot to talk about." I say as I take his hand to lead him towards the house.
He stops before we get to the door.
"Are you okay, Lan?" I asked.
He doesn't answer at first.
So I try again.
"Iolani? Baby, are you alright?"
. . .
. . .
. . .
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." The he waves to me. "Hi Wren. I'm so happy to see you, honey."
It's hard to keep my voice steady as I answer. "I'm so happy to see you too, baby. How do you feel? Are you okay?"
It's hard to keep my voice steady as I answer. "I'm so happy to see you too, baby. How do you feel? Are you okay?"
He seems a little confused by my question. "Of course I'm okay. I've never felt better."
I have a moment of relief, then his expression changes.
I have a moment of relief, then his expression changes.
"Wren, have you seen my parents?" He asks with an urgency that automatically takes me back to the day my mother disappeared. "They're not at our shelter, and I'm starting to get worried."
I have to take several steadying breaths, collect my thoughts, say a silent prayer for strength before I answer. I didn't expect this to happen so suddenly. How did he age so rapidly? It's like his hair turned gray over night. Watcher, if you're out there, please help me; give me the strength to make it through this.
I have to take several steadying breaths, collect my thoughts, say a silent prayer for strength before I answer. I didn't expect this to happen so suddenly. How did he age so rapidly? It's like his hair turned gray over night. Watcher, if you're out there, please help me; give me the strength to make it through this.
I take his hands and begin to explain to the love of my life that his parents are gone, that they have been gone for decades at this point.
"Lan, try to remember. They - " My voice breaks. I have to clear my throat trying to dislodge the lump in it. "Your parents, they died, many years ago. It happened not too long after The Disaster. Do you remember?"
He blinks and I can see it in his eyes when he understands. "Oh my -- Wren, how could I forget something like that? . . . It's happening already, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so, baby."
"Wren, I'm scared." He says, breaking my heart.
"Lan, try to remember. They - " My voice breaks. I have to clear my throat trying to dislodge the lump in it. "Your parents, they died, many years ago. It happened not too long after The Disaster. Do you remember?"
He blinks and I can see it in his eyes when he understands. "Oh my -- Wren, how could I forget something like that? . . . It's happening already, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so, baby."
"Wren, I'm scared." He says, breaking my heart.
I wrap him in my arms and mutter some empty, words of comfort. Words that countless people all around the world have spoken to loved ones probably since the beginning of time. "It's going to be okay, Lan. It's gonna be okay." And I just hold him for a minute.
"Let's get inside, baby. Then, well, I actually do have a bit of good news to share with you." I can hear the false note in voice as I try to make it sound upbeat. It seems nearly impossible that I was practically bursting with happiness not ten minutes ago, but I guess if there is anything positive about this new development -- at least it didn't happen before today. Before today we might have lost Lan just like I lost my mother. But today at least made it possible for us to keep him with us, to keep him safe.
"Here, sit down. -- Jay! Dad's here!" I call out, wishing that I could warn Jay in some way without upsetting Lan.
"Let's get inside, baby. Then, well, I actually do have a bit of good news to share with you." I can hear the false note in voice as I try to make it sound upbeat. It seems nearly impossible that I was practically bursting with happiness not ten minutes ago, but I guess if there is anything positive about this new development -- at least it didn't happen before today. Before today we might have lost Lan just like I lost my mother. But today at least made it possible for us to keep him with us, to keep him safe.
"Here, sit down. -- Jay! Dad's here!" I call out, wishing that I could warn Jay in some way without upsetting Lan.
"Wren, help me, I can't remember... I don't know how I even got here today." Jay walked downstairs as Lan is telling me this. I can tell he understands what is happening without me having to say a word.
Jay sits down right next to his dad. "Well, you're here, Dad. That's what matters."
Jay sits down right next to his dad. "Well, you're here, Dad. That's what matters."
"I guess so. Jay, I swear you've grown since the last time I saw you. When did you get so big?"
Jay and I share an uneasy glance. Ordinarily a statement like that wouldn't be cause for concern, but we couldn't help but wonder if it was more significant than a typical remark about how quickly a child is growing up.
"Time flies doesn't it?" I say. I'm a little unsure of how to switch the conversation to lighter, happier topics. "Did you notice the new addition to the house, Lan? We have a shower!"
"What? When did that happen? Or did I forget that too?" He asks with fear in his eyes.
"No, no." Jay says. "Me and Mom just finished installing it this morning."
And so we told him all about the lies, the cover up, and the return of the water supply. Eventually I get to the news that I had been most excited about. "And here's the best part. I think the Proctors are trying to bribe me in a way - to keep me quiet. But I don't care why, I'm just h-- Lan, they finally approved our marriage license! We can get married... today, if you want."
"That's not good news; that's great news, honey!" I can see that Lan is trying to be enthusiastic, but that he's still scared - still in shock - over the troubling signs of his rapid aging.
"We can wait until another day, when you're feeling better." I say.
"No!" Lan says fiercely. "No. I want to do it today! We've waited long enough! Plus I want to do it while I still can, you know before..." He trails off, but there's no need to finished the words. I understand, because it's exactly how I feel.
So we head out as a family to see a Proctor. We take care of all the official paperwork. Then, we walk to one of our favorite spots. The spot with the beautiful view overlooking the gorge.
Jay and I share an uneasy glance. Ordinarily a statement like that wouldn't be cause for concern, but we couldn't help but wonder if it was more significant than a typical remark about how quickly a child is growing up.
"Time flies doesn't it?" I say. I'm a little unsure of how to switch the conversation to lighter, happier topics. "Did you notice the new addition to the house, Lan? We have a shower!"
"What? When did that happen? Or did I forget that too?" He asks with fear in his eyes.
"No, no." Jay says. "Me and Mom just finished installing it this morning."
And so we told him all about the lies, the cover up, and the return of the water supply. Eventually I get to the news that I had been most excited about. "And here's the best part. I think the Proctors are trying to bribe me in a way - to keep me quiet. But I don't care why, I'm just h-- Lan, they finally approved our marriage license! We can get married... today, if you want."
"That's not good news; that's great news, honey!" I can see that Lan is trying to be enthusiastic, but that he's still scared - still in shock - over the troubling signs of his rapid aging.
"We can wait until another day, when you're feeling better." I say.
"No!" Lan says fiercely. "No. I want to do it today! We've waited long enough! Plus I want to do it while I still can, you know before..." He trails off, but there's no need to finished the words. I understand, because it's exactly how I feel.
So we head out as a family to see a Proctor. We take care of all the official paperwork. Then, we walk to one of our favorite spots. The spot with the beautiful view overlooking the gorge.
Jay is with us for the simple ceremony. Possibly the most simple ceremony in the history of weddings.
Despite everything, as unbelievable as it might sound, I'm somehow filled with happiness. Sure, there's plenty of of sadness waiting on the wings, trying to filter through to spoil this moment. And I can still see the fear in my love's eyes, but behind the fear I can see that he's still the man I love. He always will be my Lan. Change is coming without a doubt, but one thing that will never change is our love. And I'm happy that we were finally able to make it official.
Despite everything, as unbelievable as it might sound, I'm somehow filled with happiness. Sure, there's plenty of of sadness waiting on the wings, trying to filter through to spoil this moment. And I can still see the fear in my love's eyes, but behind the fear I can see that he's still the man I love. He always will be my Lan. Change is coming without a doubt, but one thing that will never change is our love. And I'm happy that we were finally able to make it official.
Iolani speaks first.
"Wren, my beautiful, strong, incredible Wren. I have no words to really tell you how much I love you. And I know our lives didn't turn out like we hoped and dreamed when we were young. But I am proud of the life - the family - we've built. I only wish this moment could have come sooner.
"Wren, my beautiful, strong, incredible Wren. I have no words to really tell you how much I love you. And I know our lives didn't turn out like we hoped and dreamed when we were young. But I am proud of the life - the family - we've built. I only wish this moment could have come sooner.
"I love you and I'm so happy to finally be able to call you my wife. I'll try my best every day of the rest of my life to make you as happy as you make me." When he finishes speaking, Lan gently kisses my hands.
"Iolani, I couldn't be more proud to call you my husband. I love you more everyday. We have built a good life for ourselves, haven't we? And I'm so happy that from this day on we get to be together, always. I love you. I'll love you forever."
We seal our vows with a kiss.
Jay does us the favor of using my old camera to capture our little moment of happiness on this bittersweet day.
We seal our vows with a kiss.
Jay does us the favor of using my old camera to capture our little moment of happiness on this bittersweet day.