I mean... other things matter, but you realize the most important thing in life is the people you share it with.
We don't get to spend nearly as much time together as I would like. I have long and irregular hours at work. He has his parents to take care of, and he works part time as a security guard. He, like me, was not given a choice, not really. This is reassuring and alarming at the same time. It's nice to know I'm not the only one being forced into a career by the people in charge. But that's not really a good thing in the larger scheme of things. I don't have much confidence in the direction what remains of our society is headed in if things like this don't change. It is what it is, at least for the time being.
As I was saying, Lan and I don't get to spend very much time together, so we try to make the most of every second we do have.
It's a good thing I have Lan to lean on now, because I need the support more than ever. You see my mom has been pretty much devastated over the death of my dad.
I do my best to cheer her up. I brush her hair. I joke about old times. I share my dreams of creating a better future.
I keep trying to talk her into moving in with me. I even got Lan to help me move a bed into the little second floor room I built. I've told Mom that she can have that room, but she won't agree to it. She says she doesn't want to leave Dad. Or rather, she doesn't want to leave the place he is buried. It's only been a few months since he died. Maybe she just needs a little more time.
I ask her again if she has thought any more about living here with me. As soon as the words leave my mouth I can see her eyes fill with pain. I decide not to bring it up any more. She knows the offer stands, and if she ever changes her mind I'll be here.
Shortly after this she cuts the visit short and tells me she'll see me soon.
Lucky for me I am expecting a visit from Lan tonight. I can always count on him cheering me up.
When I ask him what is wrong, he shares some awful news. "Wren, it's my parents. They're gone. When I got home from work today my mom was in bed crying, but for once she seemed completely lucid. She told me that Dad was dead. It was true. I had to go arrange a burial, and when I got back home I found her exactly where I had left her. Still laying in bed, only she wasn't breathing." When Lan finishes his explanation he breaks down in tears.
I lead him over to the makeshift sofa (really a bench) I had salvaged recently. Right now I need to be his comfort and strength... his pillar.
"Do you believe we go to a better place when die?" Lan asks me quietly.
Looking him in the eye I say, "I really do. I don't know what that place is, but yes I think your parents' spirits are out there somewhere. I think they can watch over us. And I think they're very proud of you."
At this he snorts. "Please! What have I ever accomplished that they would be proud of."
"Iolani! Don't say that! Things aren't like they used to be. You've done plenty...in the world we have now you've managed to support yourself and your poor parents for a long time." I place a hand on his knee and squeeze. "Lan, you are such a good man. I love you so much, and right now I'd give anything to make your feel better and stop you from thinking those kind of thoughts."