There has been something weighing on my mind for a while now, and the objects of my thoughts are currently sitting on my lone counter-top.
I normally keep these put away, completely out of sight. Iolani doesn't even know I have them. Potions. They used to be fairly commonplace. I mean, you didn't see them everyday, but everyone knew what they were. And after the Disaster a lot of the looting that went on was from people desperate for some potions to ease their pain - to make their devastated lives a little easier.
The raiding was so bad that eventually the government decided to ban the possession of these potions. But I kept these two hidden away for a rainy day. I used sleep replacement a few times when I was growing up, but that is the extent of my experience with potions.
From what I can remember the green one is supposed to be some sort of mood enhancer. I don't know exactly how it works, but the day has come that I'm going to drink this one. I'm getting very close to another promotion at work, and I need every bit of help I can get. I think soon I'll have enough clearance to find some real information about the water situation.
The raiding was so bad that eventually the government decided to ban the possession of these potions. But I kept these two hidden away for a rainy day. I used sleep replacement a few times when I was growing up, but that is the extent of my experience with potions.
From what I can remember the green one is supposed to be some sort of mood enhancer. I don't know exactly how it works, but the day has come that I'm going to drink this one. I'm getting very close to another promotion at work, and I need every bit of help I can get. I think soon I'll have enough clearance to find some real information about the water situation.
With my mind made up I pick up the green potion and take a sip. The preliminary taste isn't too bad, so I finish off the glass. And then...
I suddenly find myself feeling cleaner than I have since... since I don't know when. It's been too long to remember. This feels wonderful. I feel completely rejuvenated. I wish I had a stockpile of these potions. But I don't. I only have one other potion.
Thankfully I have a little more time before I have to make a decision regarding this one. I don't even want to think about it. I know I'll have to discuss it with Lan at some point. But I'm glad to put it off for now.
...
...
I did manage to get that promotion, and I'm certain that little potion had something to do with it. As soon as I receive my new clearance level I begin digging for information on what happened to our waters. I've been fully focused on this for several days. So focused that today I lost track of time and ended up leaving work late - a couple of hours late.
I think I've gotten better about not over-worrying about Jay while I'm away from home. He can take care of himself pretty well. He occupies himself with his practice work, games of his own invention, and making up stories to tell me when I get home. But when I get home late from work tonight I'm greeted by a sight that kicks my worry into overdrive.
I think I've gotten better about not over-worrying about Jay while I'm away from home. He can take care of himself pretty well. He occupies himself with his practice work, games of his own invention, and making up stories to tell me when I get home. But when I get home late from work tonight I'm greeted by a sight that kicks my worry into overdrive.
Jay is outside playing by himself. I know he's alone, because Lan had to be away for an official address check tonight. He knows he isn't supposed to play outside alone, especially not at night.
I wish I could say I reacted calmly yet assertively.
I wish I could say I reacted calmly yet assertively.
Unfortunately it would be more accurate to say I panicked. I immediately thought of everything terrible that could have happened to my little baby. So I haul Jay inside.
"Jay, sweetie, please promise me you won't go out there alone again. You don't know how much I worry, baby. I don't want anything to happen -" But he interrupts my pleas.
"Jay, sweetie, please promise me you won't go out there alone again. You don't know how much I worry, baby. I don't want anything to happen -" But he interrupts my pleas.
"'Cause it's sooooo scary out there!" Jay's voice drips with sarcasm, and he fakes a frightened face. I've never heard him talk like this. "Jeeze, Mom, I'm fine. Nothing happened. I'm sick of being stuck in the house, and you were gone for so long today. So I went outside for a little bit. What's the big deal?" With that he storms off towards his bed.
It's now that my assertiveness makes an appearance.
It's now that my assertiveness makes an appearance.
"Jay Makani Hale, you better stop using that tone of voice, young man! I am your mother, and you will not talk to me that way! I have my reasons for the stay indoors rule. There are real dangers out there, son, and I'M DOING MY DARNEDEST TO PROTECT YOU FROM THEM!! Do you want someone or something to -" I stop my rant when I see the look on my son's face.
Just as I've never heard such sarcastic and disrespectful words coming from him, Jay has never seen me lose my temper like this. When I realized I've scared him, my temper evaporates as quickly as it ignited.
"Jay, sweetie, I'm sorry I yelled. I know you're getting older, but you're not grown yet. You've got to trust me, okay?"
"Okay. I love you, Mom. I'm sorry."
"Me too, baby. I love you too. Let's make a deal. I promise not to be over-protective or yell at you again. If you promise not to go outside alone until you're older."
"Okay I promise, but how do I know when I'm old enough?"
"I'll let you know baby. I'll let you know. And I'll make you one more promise. I promise I'll keep you safe until you're old enough to do it yourself."
I give him a kiss goodnight and head to bed myself. As I lay in bed trying to get to sleep I have lots of thoughts running through my head.
I can't believe how quickly Jay is growing up. I wasn't expecting to encounter a negative attitude from him until he's a teenager. I can't believe how much time has passed already. Not just since Jay was born, but before that since the Disaster. How long has it been? I don't know exactly.
But I do know I've got to make a decision about that other potion soon. If want to be able to keep my promises to Jay. But know that I've accepted the fact that I need to make a decision, all I want to do is push it off longer. I just need more time. But more time is exactly the problem.
Then I drift off to an uneasy sleep filled with dream about growing old and dying. This dream is followed by one in which I watch my loved ones, Jay, Iolani, my parents, my brother, my friends from back in high school. They all grow old and then wither away while I remain the same. When I wake in the morning I feel like I hardly slept at all.
"Okay. I love you, Mom. I'm sorry."
"Me too, baby. I love you too. Let's make a deal. I promise not to be over-protective or yell at you again. If you promise not to go outside alone until you're older."
"Okay I promise, but how do I know when I'm old enough?"
"I'll let you know baby. I'll let you know. And I'll make you one more promise. I promise I'll keep you safe until you're old enough to do it yourself."
I give him a kiss goodnight and head to bed myself. As I lay in bed trying to get to sleep I have lots of thoughts running through my head.
I can't believe how quickly Jay is growing up. I wasn't expecting to encounter a negative attitude from him until he's a teenager. I can't believe how much time has passed already. Not just since Jay was born, but before that since the Disaster. How long has it been? I don't know exactly.
But I do know I've got to make a decision about that other potion soon. If want to be able to keep my promises to Jay. But know that I've accepted the fact that I need to make a decision, all I want to do is push it off longer. I just need more time. But more time is exactly the problem.
Then I drift off to an uneasy sleep filled with dream about growing old and dying. This dream is followed by one in which I watch my loved ones, Jay, Iolani, my parents, my brother, my friends from back in high school. They all grow old and then wither away while I remain the same. When I wake in the morning I feel like I hardly slept at all.