"Mom, what are you wearing?" Jay asked me one day before I left for work. I had recently had a promotion, and had been issued a new "uniform" for certain events.
"This is just what I have to wear to work sometimes now." I say hoping to avoid a lengthy discussion about it. I find it fairly ridiculous that I have to wear this silly dress. Why the agency wants me to dress up to impress someone is beyond me. I mean the guy might have some useful information. But what kind of impression do they think I can make without being able to shower before attending this dinner? How am I supposed to schmooze the information out of him when I look grimier and smell fouler than ever.
Unfortunately, Jay's imagination ran a little wild with the limited information I gave with my answer.
"Oh, I know what it is! You're actually a superhero aren't you?"
"Oh, I know what it is! You're actually a superhero aren't you?"
When I just laugh and shake my head at his silliness he says, "Yessss! I knew I had the coolest mom in the world."
I don't really want Jay to have an overly fantasized view of my job - he has read a few stories about spies, and thought they were "super cool" - and I've tried to explain that I'm not really a spy, that it's a little different now days. But thankfully I have plenty of time to explain the realities of it to him. It doesn't have to be done today. Thanks to that potion of youth I drank.
Every day when I see his sweet face I know I made the right decision when I drank that potion.
Every day when I see his sweet face I know I made the right decision when I drank that potion.
Even when I see his not so sweet faces.
So we spend the last of his childhood days mostly just enjoying the time together. Sure I keep up his lessons, but it all feels a little less urgent now.
Time continues to fly by, and one day I suddenly realize Jay's birthday is practically here.
"So, Jay, do you remember what tomorrow is?" I ask him.
Time continues to fly by, and one day I suddenly realize Jay's birthday is practically here.
"So, Jay, do you remember what tomorrow is?" I ask him.
"Of course, Mom, you goof. It's my birthday!"
"Right you are, little man. I just wish I could bake you a cake."
"Right you are, little man. I just wish I could bake you a cake."
"A cake? What exactly is a cake, anyway?" he asks.
His question surprises me. But really it shouldn't. He's never know any food besides the government rations. I know he's probably read about a character or two eating cake or some other food he's never tasted in one of the books I've collected over the years. But his simple question today, causes a wave of sadness for me.
I wish more than anything that I could have given him a normal childhood. And for what seems like the millionth time I have to remind myself that there is no "normal" anymore.
I quickly compose my face, because I realize he isn't sad about not having a birthday cake. He's just curious.
"Well, when I was growing up everyone had birthday cakes on their birthday. I tell you what, I think I still remember a recipe for one. We won't be able to actually make it, but we'll write it down and maybe one day we'll be able to cook one."
And I describe the best I can the taste of cake. And I tell him all about blowing out the candles.
I quickly compose my face, because I realize he isn't sad about not having a birthday cake. He's just curious.
"Well, when I was growing up everyone had birthday cakes on their birthday. I tell you what, I think I still remember a recipe for one. We won't be able to actually make it, but we'll write it down and maybe one day we'll be able to cook one."
And I describe the best I can the taste of cake. And I tell him all about blowing out the candles.
"Super cool!" Jay says.
"How would you like it if I tried to find a candle for you to blow out tomorrow? I'm pretty sure I have a few around here somewhere." I suggest.
"That'd be fun! Hey, can we pretend to bake the cake too?" Jays enthusiasm is truly remarkable.
"How would you like it if I tried to find a candle for you to blow out tomorrow? I'm pretty sure I have a few around here somewhere." I suggest.
"That'd be fun! Hey, can we pretend to bake the cake too?" Jays enthusiasm is truly remarkable.
"Little man, we can do whatever you want tomorrow. It is your birthday after all."