Yes, I've finally started calling this little shack home. Jay's arrival gave me something that I had thought was gone forever, wiped away by the disaster.
But even with our schedule juggling, necessity forced us to start leaving Jay alone at an earlier age than I liked. My parents never left me home alone until I was in fifth grade. I can remember staying home sick one day, and even then they both called to check on me several times. But things are different now and my son was only three when one day I had to leave for work before Lan got back from his shift.
I had prepared as best as I could for that day, already had begun to instill the importance of staying indoors when I wasn't there. But he was so young when that first time I improvised a child lock on the door. And of course I blocked the stairs and put everything potentially dangerous out of reach. I put Jay down for a nap and said a little prayer that he would sleep until his father got here. I hated the idea of my baby waking up alone and scared. And of course I worried that he would bump his head or something despite all my precautions.
In the end Lan arrived not long after I left that day. He told me later that Jay had still been sleeping soundly when he first checked on him.
By now I've gotten a little more used to Jay staying at home alone while I'm at work. That's a good thing too, because it happens much more frequently these days. Officials have started cracking down on house checks in the restricted zone of Lan's official address. He's had to stay there more often.
Honestly I think Jay rather enjoys having the house to himself on the days he must stay there alone. But I'm a mother and I still worry.
"'Don't let them in.' Mom, I know. You've told me that like I billion times, you know."
"How else will I grow up to be strong like Super Duck?" Jay told me. Super Duck is the hero in one of the children's books I found for Jay to read.
Amused by his answer I asked, "So you want to be like Super Duck. What do you like most about that little duck? His quack?"
He didn't have to think about his answer, this was something he'd obviously though of before. "No not his quack. A duck is a bird and a jay is a bird, right? We're sort of alike. I want to be Super Jay and grow up to save the world."
I'm sure Jay didn't mean this literally; he was just playing pretend like boys and girls have done since the beginning of time. But this would have been much more cute to me if the world couldn't actually use a little saving. It did, however, inspire me. Perhaps this would provide a way to start teaching Jay some practical survival skills in a fun way.
I would never put the pressure on him that he needs to actually save the world, but I know it can't hurt to try to prepare him to succeed in this world and maybe even have some influence on it.
From that day on we had our training sessions. We called them "Lessons in Flight." I tried to make it seem like playing pretend, to keep it fun. But in reality I was teaching him important skills.