That's pretty sad, because it can't have been more than a few months since it happened.
First of all I broke my eyeglasses, and I have no way of getting a new pair. I don't have any makeup or beauty supplies; even if I did I have more important things to worry about now. I don't even have a clean change of clothes.
The changes I see in the mirror go deeper than that. I swear my skin is paler. I'm skinnier. Overall I look a little less healthy. I suppose this harsh new life is already taking it's toll.
It would be all too easy to succumb to depressing thoughts, but I really try my best not to. Instead I try to feel thankful to still be alive. Everything could have ended for me that day if I had stayed at home.
I had went shopping for things I needed for my apartment. That's right, I had just had my birthday and was free...no longer a kid. I couldn't wait to move out of my parents house. It's funny how much I wish for just the opposite now. I would give anything for more time with my parents in my childhood home.
I know that will never happen, and if I hadn't been in that store I would be gone just like the house. I'll never forget when it happened.
I made my way to the front of the store along with everyone else who was in there. Nothing could have prepared us for the amount of destruction we saw outside.
Pretty much everything was gone. Buildings, trees, everything as far as I could see lay flattened. And no one knew what happened.
The government officials, who are so efficient in spreading bad news along with all their rules and restrictions have not been forthcoming in telling the public what caused the...event. They haven't event told us what it was.
I never found any signs of life in any of the rubble that had been the houses of the neighborhood I grew up in. The strange thing is I never found any signs of death either.
I hold on to that fact as one of the few sources of hope I have left. If I never found any bodies then some of the people I knew and loved could still be alive, right?
It may be pointless to hope, but that's all that gets me through each day. After all it hasn't been easy adjusting to life in the world as it is now.
As you can probably tell there is no electricity. Don't let the refrigerator fool you. It doesn't work, I just find it a convenient place to store my government-issued non-perishable food rations.
Those oh so helpful government officials gave me what felt like a never ending list of regulations that limited what type of shelter I could build. Some of them didn't really make any logical sense, but I know better to argue with anyone wearing a white shirt uniform.
The lack of electricity was one of the hardest things for me to get used to. But that at least makes sense. The power grid was apparently wiped out completely by whatever it was that happened.
The biggest issue I have to cope with at the moment is being alone. I see people walking down the road from time to time. But everyone is wary of talking to strangers now days, and everyone pretty much keeps their heads down, avoids eye contact, and gets back inside as quick as possible.
And I get those visits from the white shirts everyone once in a while, but I'd rather have no company than that company.
Inevitably though my gaze will be drawn to the ring on my finger while I'm writing. I just can't bring myself take off the promise ring Iolani gave me. But it does sometimes make me miss him even more.
When lonely thoughts get to be too much for me I try to channel my energy into something productive.
The food quality probably doesn't help either.
But like I said I know better than to fight with one of those crisp white shirts.