At first I thought this one was the same person I had dealt with in the past, but as I get closer to the man I realize he is a new one.
Each and every one of them has the most peculiar, almost blank stare. And they all style their hair the same way, even the women. As if those immaculate white shirts aren't strange enough in a world where no one, that I know of, has any water for laundry. Their whole aura of precise tidiness really gives me the creeps.
There is also something a little more subtle in their appearances that makes me uneasy. Something that's hard to pin down, but I think it's their eyes. They're maybe a little too big than is normal, and they're a rather ominous shade of black. It really adds to the blank stare they give you.
"Um...Hello Mr. -" I trail off, because I realize I don't know his name.
"Mr. White. Or more precisely I am Government Proctor White, but it is acceptable for you to address me as Mr. White, Ms. McDaniel."
Things just got stranger, because this is the exact same way the last government person I interacted with introduced himself. The. Exact. Same. Way.
Word for word the same sentence. Same careful articulation. Same name and everything.
Before I could even think of whether it would be wise to question this bizarre direction in the conversation I hear myself asking, "You're Mr. White too?! Are you all Mr. Whites?!!" The incredulous tone of my voice is not hidden. Not even a little.
But he doesn't even respond to my questions. He seems entirely unfazed by my reaction. He just jumps right into to his announcement. The reason for his visit today.
Then he hands me a book. "You will need to read this tonight, Ms. McDaniel. Read it thoroughly. And please be sure you keep it in a secure location. That is all of your time that I require today. Unless you have any questions for me before I leave."
Finally I find my voice. Because I do have a few questions. Because some of what he has been saying is finally sinking in. And I can feel myself beginning to panic.
"Now, Ms. McDaniel, I would advise you to read the manual. If you still have questions you can ask your trainer tomorrow...Again if you choose to proceed with the employment. Goodbye, Ms. McDaniel."
With that he turned and left.
After locking the book away in my shelter I decided to go for a short run in an effort to clear my mind.
If I go to work for a government agency does that mean I'll end up being forced to cut my hair and wear one of those ominous white uniforms? Will I become one of them?
Do I really have a choice in the matter?
I do need a job, and it's not like I can put in applications online anymore. Maybe this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
But why do they think I'm cut out for working in intelligence? What do they know about me?
Do I really want to know the answer to that last question?
Eventually I resort to doing the one thing that is certain to quiet some of the endless questions racing through my mind.
Surprisingly, I find myself completely engrossed in it. Perhaps 'they' are right, and I am well-suited for this line of work.
On that note, I was more than a little relieved that my recommendation to the SIA came from my interactions with Mr. White No. 1. He was around frequently while I was building my shelter. I got the impression that he thought I was doing everything wrong at the time. He always had a list of things for me to 'correct.' But apparently he was impressed by me in someway. Anyway, it's nice to know that the government isn't some all-seeing force that knows everything about our lives.
There aren't any specifics about my job responsibilities, but it is an interesting read nonetheless. And at least now I know the name of my boss and my appointed trainer.
Plus there is no hint whatsoever, that I'm to be made into one of the creepy government proctors/drones.
I had just about calmed all my fears. I was beginning to rethink all my bad thoughts in regards to all the Mr. Whites out there. They must not be all that bad after all. He didn't come here today to further ruin my life. He actually brought good news I think.
Then I reached the last page of the manual.
The last page contained the instructions for ending my employment with the agency. As promised I did have that choice. Ha! Some choice!
Here's what was actually printed below the directions for declining/ending my employment.
If you choose to decline this career assignment we can NOT guarantee future employment opportunities. Your local Government Proctors will, of course, make every reasonable effort to find you a suitable alternate career. However, as you may realize, the economy is struggling to recover from the collapse caused by recent events. Due to these circumstances, career assignments should NOT be rejected lightly. It is likely there are no other openings in your area, and this may very well be the case for an extended period of time. You should ONLY decline your career assignment if you are confident that you have enough supplies and money saved to last you for the foreseeable future. Your LIVELIHOOD is at stake after all. All of the above also applies if you should consider ending your employment at ANY time in the future.
And don't think I missed that bit about the proctors trying to find alternative career options for me. So even if I pass on this offer, I don't get to chose the next time around. If there is a next time.
I'm no fool. There is no real option here. They merely want to create the illusion of choice. And with good reason too. Who wants to be forced into a career? A career that they'll be stuck with for the rest of their lives.
It definitely doesn't sit well with me. I'm trying really hard not to completely freak out.
I try to focus on the fact that I had accepted the idea of taking this job before I read that last page. I had actually been looking forward to starting work. I had been interested in it...thinking of this assignment at a good thing.
This helps calm me down. Realizing I don't have a choice doesn't really change a thing. I need a job, and this is the one I've been given. I resolve myself to make the best of the situation.
Then I'm struck with an inspiring thought.
Just because I'm required to work on their terms doesn't mean I can't get something out of it myself.
The powers that be want me to work in intelligence? Okay. I'll play along. But while I'm at it, I'm going to do my best to collect some intelligence on them.